How to Avoid a Bad Day

Every day when we get up we have a choice……We can choose to have a good day or we can choose to have a bad day.
If we choose to have a bad day…..it will be bad.
If we choose to have a good day….it will be good.
What is the difference? Our attitude!
We cannot control many things that happen to us, but we can control our perception of those things and in so doing can ensure that we reduce our stress and enjoy our lives more.

Here are 10 possible solutions to remedy a bad day:
1. Try to find humour in the situation.  Making something amusing can change our brain chemistry and make us feel better. Some cultures actually employ laughter as a means of healing.

2. Move!  Activity also releases endorphins and increases our feelings of well being. So a little exercise is a good stress releaser.

3. Give the situation the attention it deserves.  Pick your battles, if it is an issue that needs resolution, deal with it. If it is a petty, silly matter, just let it go, life is too short to spent it stressing over insignificant trivia.

4.   Make a list of the things you are grateful for.  We all have good things in our lives…celebrate them, remind yourself of how lucky you are!

5    Seek advice.   Talk to someone you trust,just being listened to will make you feel better and maybe they will have some additional suggestions for you to consider.

6 Thank someone! Constructive criticism may be hard to take sometimes but if we never make mistakes we will not learn much, as they are the growth opportunities from which we can reap great benefits.

7. Engage in a high focus activity.  This will take your mind to a new place and might even help you to accomplish one of your important goals.

8. Employ a spiritual GPS.  Sometimes situations need a higher power, guidance might be calming and when we are more relaxed we think more rationally so our problem solving skills are more effective.

9. Become accountable.   Ask yourself this, “how did I contribute to this situation, and what can I do now?”

10. Try this thought process: what can I stop, what can I start, what should I continue, and what should I change. Sometimes taking the time to examine how we are doing and strategizing how to do it better can be most enlightening.

So, adjust your attitude about your life and you will empower yourself to avoid a bad day.

Remember, if it is to be, it is up to me!

Time Management Made Simple

Time Management is actually a misnomer as you do not control the clock but you do control the energy and enthusiasm with which you manage that precious resource so use it wisely!

Here are some tips for achieving better self management:
1. Clear your desk….it is most distracting and difficult to work effectively on a cluttered desk. That includes your in box and filing systems….so purge those often and set up processes that help you to keep documents and messages you need in easy to find places.

2. Write down your goals and make them Specific, Achievable, Realistic and Time Limited. When achieved, reward yourself! In addition, if the goal does not have enough meaning and excitement for you, you will likely have trouble executing the steps necessary to accomplish it….be sure it matters!

3. Mutli-tasking is a myth….it takes your brain 15-20 minutes to align the necessary neurons to allow you to perform the selected task at a high level of performance. Every time you are distracted you lose a percentage of neurons to the new task and so are less able to do either job well. (Women are better at it than men, however it is actually better to do one thing at a time.)

4. Schedule email and phone calls so that you can concentrate on specific projects without interruptions for 1-2 hour time blocks. You will get more done and with fewer mistakes. Caution: do take breaks to “clear” your head, re-energize your brain (a walk is good) and hydrate and nourish your body….you will perform at a higher level if you take care of yourself!

5. Procrastination, one of time management‘s biggest stumbling blocks, is a result of fear of failure, not knowing where to begin, inadequate resources, feeling overwhelmed, or having no passion for this particular job…..so address those issues with delegation, clear deadlines, and maybe some friendly and helpful advice from a trusted friend; and you will be able to overcome your procrastination.

6. In order to remember what you have to do…make lists, prioritize the lists, and keep them short so that you can finish the list. You will be more motivated to achieve your daily goals if they are reasonable!

Remember…Time is of the essence so make the most of your time!

Listening….the Key Communication Skill

The cause of most conflict is Poor Listening.
Most of us think that because we have essentially been communicating since we were born that we know how.
Good luck with that!

Without actual feedback from the listener, we have no idea what they actually heard because there are many interferences between the delivery and the reception of the message. That is why most of us are not very effective communicators.

Here are some of the interferences:
1. Our brains process data at approximately 800-1000 words/minute. Most people talk at about 150 words/minute. No wonder staying focused on a speaker is difficult for our brains. Ever find yourself realizing that you haven’t heard a word the person you are supposedly listening to has said for the past 5 or 10 minutes? And then done the usual human thing… assumed you sort of knew what they are saying, which of course gets us into a whole pile of trouble!!
2. The condition of the listener can also impact upon the reception of the message…they could be hungry, tired, not feeling well, or worrying about something.  Which means they may not be concentrating on what you are saying.
3. The environment can negatively impact the reception…too hot, too cold, poor lighting, outside distractions (noise), inside distractions, or interruptions.  Again this can prevent the intended message from being received as it again interferes with concentration.
4. Language….be sure to use words that the listener understands, not technical language that they may not be familar with.  Because in order to not look or feel stupid, they will say they understood you even if they did not.
5. Preconceived ideas about what is going to be said or happen can interfere with the intended message being received as well.  Again feedback is the only way we can have any idea of what the listener heard.

Checking to find out what the listener actually heard can be most enlightening and helpful to ensure that the message you intended was truly what was computed.

Remember this: the verbal part of the message is only 7%, it is 38% tonal and 55% nonverbal, so in all it is 93% nonverbal….be careful of the messages you are sending, they may not be what you intended. Without direct feedback we can never be sure what the listener actually heard, so practise effective listening and reduce the conflict in your life!!

Soft Skills…what are they and why do we need them?

In this uncertain economy, businesses are very careful how they spend their dollars. If looking for new hires they will likely find many potential candidates with similar educational backgrounds and work experience. So how will they choose from 20 viable resumes? Who will be the one most valuable to their organization?

That choice is usually the individual with the best soft skills. That does not mean that technical and professional skills are not key, they are, but what makes one stand out is something different and unique. Here is why……
•People with effective soft skills are self starters, good time managers and goal setters who are organized in their work habits.
•They are excellent team players, open communicators, and make impressive presentations.
•They form relationships based on trust, respect and rapport and usually problem solve using critical thinking and creativity.
•Due to their understanding of others, they deal well with conflict and resolve those issues with more win/win outcomes.

If you could have someone in your company with those traits would they not be valuable to you? Of course they would.

Soft skills offer the opportunity to help advance your career, they are empowering, and they can open up new doors. Those traits can provide personal growth, leadership qualities that engender high performance in others, and increase mastery in one’s field….perhaps even to the expert level. When that occurs and when purpose also resonates, you will be happy in your work environment, enjoy your job and be more productive and efficient. Once more demonstrating that you would be a valuable asset to the team.